One of the things I wasn't totally prepared for was exactly how much time my son would spend with his mom. Don't get me wrong, it's not because she's hogging him or anything like that but rather biology has set the table for mothers to have a natural bonding moment every 2-3 hours (i.e., breastfeeding for those of you that are slow on the uptake). It can be a little tough as a new dad feeling like you don't have a huge role in your newborns life or that you're second fiddle to mom. I certainly have had a few moments where I felt like I was on the sideline but over the past 12 days I've come up with a few ways to get involved and connect.
Skin to Skin
This has been on of the best bonding experiences for me. Skin to skin is a popular position of putting your baby directly onto your chest and is very common in the first hour after birth. However, I've found that this is also an excellent bonding position well after the first hour. Nothing beats having my little buddy crash out on my chest, hearing him breathe and snuggle up to me. It is a great way to share a nap with him, which trust me you will need many of in the first few weeks. It also had a separate effect of developing a fierce protective instinct within me. It's hard to put into words but the best way I can describe it is the feeling you get when you know you are fulling responsible for the well-being of another human being. There is an immediate need to ensure that everything will be ok because he is entirely dependent on you.
Skin to Skin
This has been on of the best bonding experiences for me. Skin to skin is a popular position of putting your baby directly onto your chest and is very common in the first hour after birth. However, I've found that this is also an excellent bonding position well after the first hour. Nothing beats having my little buddy crash out on my chest, hearing him breathe and snuggle up to me. It is a great way to share a nap with him, which trust me you will need many of in the first few weeks. It also had a separate effect of developing a fierce protective instinct within me. It's hard to put into words but the best way I can describe it is the feeling you get when you know you are fulling responsible for the well-being of another human being. There is an immediate need to ensure that everything will be ok because he is entirely dependent on you.
Tummy Time
Tummy time is the a fun exercise where I put my son on his stomach on a play mat. Everything you read recommends doing this a few times day to help development in areas like neck strength and motor skills. Rather than just put my son on his stomach and watch, I make a point to get down and engage with him. It may not make the hugest difference but it is fun to cheer him on each time he grunts his way to lifting his head up. Seriously, the small success of him turning his head elicits a cheer from me similar to when the US scored two goals in the final minutes of the friendly against the Netherlands on Friday to win the match.
Tummy time is the a fun exercise where I put my son on his stomach on a play mat. Everything you read recommends doing this a few times day to help development in areas like neck strength and motor skills. Rather than just put my son on his stomach and watch, I make a point to get down and engage with him. It may not make the hugest difference but it is fun to cheer him on each time he grunts his way to lifting his head up. Seriously, the small success of him turning his head elicits a cheer from me similar to when the US scored two goals in the final minutes of the friendly against the Netherlands on Friday to win the match.
Change Diapers
Ok, I can already hear the sighs and sense the rolling of eyes but hear me out. My mother in law made a comment that she loved engaging with her kids when they were getting their diaper changed. I admit, I thought it was a sneaky ploy to get me excited about handling toxic waste. In reality, you spend a lot of time making faces, singing songs, and pretty much using everything in your arsenal to get your little guy to not freak out while changing a diaper. I've found that my diaper changing sessions have been some of the best bonding moments simply because I'm spending a lot of time being a goof ball with my son. If you're lucky, you'll get rewarded with the precious smile that makes it all worth it.
So there you have it...don't take the back seat dads! These are just a few ways to bond with the new addition to your family. Although you don't produce the sweet nectar your kids need, you have every opportunity to engage and be a meaningful part of your kid's early days. Have suggestions? Leave a comment below, thanks!
Ok, I can already hear the sighs and sense the rolling of eyes but hear me out. My mother in law made a comment that she loved engaging with her kids when they were getting their diaper changed. I admit, I thought it was a sneaky ploy to get me excited about handling toxic waste. In reality, you spend a lot of time making faces, singing songs, and pretty much using everything in your arsenal to get your little guy to not freak out while changing a diaper. I've found that my diaper changing sessions have been some of the best bonding moments simply because I'm spending a lot of time being a goof ball with my son. If you're lucky, you'll get rewarded with the precious smile that makes it all worth it.
So there you have it...don't take the back seat dads! These are just a few ways to bond with the new addition to your family. Although you don't produce the sweet nectar your kids need, you have every opportunity to engage and be a meaningful part of your kid's early days. Have suggestions? Leave a comment below, thanks!
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